(That's Big Fat Positive on my beta blood test.)
I had taken, oh, about three HPTs on January 31, my half-year birthday, as it turns out. Every single one showed at first a faint and then progressively darker line.
I'll never forget the flash of realization, followed by disbelief, followed by abject certainty, followed by disbelief, etc. etc. Because we did an FET without the inundation of hormones, it was technically "safe" to test at home and get a reliable result. No IVF nurse would actively endorse this practice but I just knew I was pregnant when I had the flushing and twinges early in the week so I had to be sure. I had secretly purchased several different brands, just in case. I got up early before school, careful to use the morning's first urine, and I peed on that stick. Within a minute, still sitting on the toilet, the awful deja vu of waiting, I saw the line emerge. I let out a gasp and yelled down to Rhett, "Come here! Come here!" He says he knew in that moment what I was up to. Oscar was so excited that he came running in to the hallway bathroom to hear the news. I whispered it to him. No reaction.
Rhett came upstairs and I couldn't contain myself. "I'M PREGNANT IT SAYS I'M PREGNANT LOOK THERE'S A LINE." We hugged and I remained elated all day.
I even called Nurse Anne and was like, "Oh, hey, by the way the HPT was positive and I'm having spotting. Is that normal? Oh, you mean you can move up my beta by a day? Awesome!"
On Sunday, February 2, Groundhog Day of 2014, we drove to Basking Ridge for the 2 minute blood test and waited an agonizing three hours for the phone call. I was confident but nervous. Anne shared the news and yes, indeed, I was pregnant.
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Hard to imagine that was exactly one year ago today, especially when I'm looking at this little goober rolling around on the floor next to me. I can hardly imagine my life before her and I could never imagine my life without her.
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