First pregnancy insult

This is a milestone, of sorts, for me and PB.  I'm laughing now but believe me, I was NOT laughing yesterday. 

I went to acupuncture for the first time since transfer day just to clear some qi and help me sleep a bit better between the heartburn and the lower back pain.  Haven't seen the woman in nearly 6 months and the first words after "hello, how are you?" are "where's your belly?"  She looks me up and down and then says "Oh, you're carrying all over.  That's ok.  Every body is different."

GEE, THANKS.  Why not go ahead and call me a heffalump straight out?

Begin rant.

Seriously, woman, you're an Eastern medicine practitioner who should know that between the 20 extra pounds of fluid I'm carrying and the pomegranate-sized baby, of course I'm going to be a bit, um, swollen.  I swear, this fluid has evenly distributed all over my body, increasing my rib cage in proportion with both sets of cheeks, but has it filled out my belly?  NOPE.  I own several mirrors that confirm this so thank you for helpfully pointing it out to me.  My D cups are grateful for your observations. 

I definitely haven't wasted too much time or energy taking it to heart but I admit, it did sting a little considering the source!  Apparently I have dairy and starches to blame for my back inflammation.  No shit, Sherlock.  But if I'm choosing to eat extra calcium in the form of yogurt/cheese/frozen treats - all for the baby, naturally :cough:cough - I probably will continue to do so, in moderation, and get on with the next three months as I have thus far: just fine. 

While we're on the subject, it also bugs me that people who are relative strangers or even worse, former colleagues, feel so free to comment on my body, whether it's to say "oh, you don't look pregnant except for your boobs" or "now you can enjoy not looking just fat."  HA!  Who says this?  (Well, that last one is a competitive snot with no social filter so she doesn't count for much.)

Why is it that a woman's rapidly changing body is a magnet for verbal diarrhea and unsolicited anecdotes/advice?  It baffles me.  Would the same people ever dream of telling a man to his face, "whoa, you're getting HUGE?"  Wouldn't happen.  You don't see it in the tabloids (well, unless you're poor Val Kilmer) and you don't hear it in life.  Hello, double standard.  Thus speaketh I for all the Kim Kardashians and Jessica Simpsons who endured months of public scrutiny about their size and pregnancies.  Everyone: STFU.  If you're growing a human, snarky comments should be off-limits. 

End rant.

Friends and family members said this phenomenon of unintentionally rude remarks would happened so I was forewarned but now that it's occurring, seemingly daily, it is irksome to me.  I can appreciate honesty and even occasional bluntness, provided I'm not stuffing my face with a sandwich or something.  I don't need to hear how your daughter only gained 25 pounds total (yeah, right) or how I should be enjoying this one because the second time around, you get really big, really early.  Assume much?  This is a not a new subject of discussion but I realize that maybe Hilary Mantel was onto something in her LRB treatise on female bodies (specifically pregnant and royal ones) and the public gaze: http://www.lrb.co.uk/v35/n04/hilary-mantel/royal-bodies

Worth a read!

Am I being a tad dramatic?  Probably.  It is an extremely difficult thing to watch your body changing before your very eyes, regardless of how much you move it and bend it and try to be healthy.  I'm learning to be humble in the face of genetic predestination and my own unique gestating physiology. It's not easy.  I'd say this is the most difficult part of pregnancy, now that we're over the halfway hump, accepting that what was once yours - a point of pride, perhaps too much so - is now wholly responsible for growing another human being and that vanity no longer matters.

I am strong.  I am fit.  I am retaining ungodly amounts of water.  Whatever.  I am more of a physical presence now than I was in previous iterations because I am a mother now.  I need space to grow this baby girl so back off, haters, and while you're at it, keep your comments to yourselves.