Rhett and I were lounging on the couch with Oscar (who was taking up half of it by stretching out in his lordly way), just chatting about the past few days and commenting that the first trimester is over next week. Hard to believe, right? Most days it feels like it's flown by but other days, it can't end soon enough. There's really nothing medically special about the transition from first to second trimester since the placenta takes over at 10 weeks but it's the long-held transition that is supposed to give couples comfort that yes, this is really happening.
The next big milestone is at 14 weeks when you can possibly learn the gender, if the baby cooperates, and when many experts believe that the baby can begin to recognize sound and its parents voices. I've mostly been talking to Oscar about the baby so I'll have to get used to speaking directly to him or her. The music part is pretty neat, too. I play my jams on the Bose when I'm in the tub. That baby has a built-in sub-woofer of amniotic fluid so it can host its own little dance party in there.
So back to the couch. Rhett was telling Punkid that he missed him/her while in London and then he goes, "whoa - look at your line!" And of course I'm like, "What line? My panty line?" Then he's pointing to the faintest shadow of a grayish line stretching from just below my belly button to my lotus patch. "Holy crap, where did that come from?" "Wait, is that the dark line?" "Yeah, I think that's the linea negra alright but this seems way early." Of course I looked it up and while I am certainly in the minority on the timing, 75% of women will get them by 22 weeks. So I'm 10 weeks early on that. Oh well. It's so light you probably wouldn't be able to tell but we can both see it now and it's kind of reassuring that stuff is happening, even when I can't tell what is my uterus v. my lunch.
Thursday, March 27, 2014
Friday, March 21, 2014
Just looking
I stopped by Target on my way home today which was a rare luxury but hey, we needed detergent and assorted household products. Justifiable tall soy chai for the browsing! Gotta love those Starbucks outposts inside the big red doors.
For the first time since our BFP, I allowed myself to browse maternity wear, just for kicks. I ended up purchasing three items that will serve for the near and long term. It felt good. It felt, well, normal. I could have been any other pregnant woman in that store, wondering about waistbands and bustlines and how horizontal stripes will look pulled taught over a bump.
So I bought that fold-over horizontal striped skirt because hey, when am I ever going to wear something that so loudly proclaims "guess what? I'm PREGNANT" if not now? It's cute. It made me smile. So I put it in the cart next to the butterscotch pudding, the Tide, the toilet paper and everything else. Then I found the softest, flowiest tee-shirts and bought two of those. They're the kind that aren't expressly maternity but will definitely be forgiving with their high-low hemline. I've been told by my cousins not to stretch out my pre-baby clothes by attempting to wear them longer than I feasibly can while pregnant. It's probably good advice so I'll lock that away in the coming weeks.
It's safe to say I've graduated from "just looking" to actually purchasing items I'll most certainly need down the line. I'm learning to be less fearful, less superstitious, and just do what moves me in the moment. We haven't bought anything specifically for the baby yet but maybe that will be the moment when this starts to feel more real. Oh, I've looked at onesies and breast pumps and all of that but only online. I even picked out our MamaRoo - green - but there's still some unspoken barrier preventing me from registering and really digging into the planning. I can't blame it on the "12 weeks" timeline entirely but I'd be lying if I said that didn't have some part in the way I feel.
If all goes well on April 8, perhaps that will open the floodgates and the shopping can begin in earnest. I really can't say for sure what my reaction will be once we get the first trimester screening results. No one likes to dwell on the possibility of positive test results - and I won't - but it's another milestone to check off that will find us that much closer to fine. I'll be glad to see it in the rear-view mirror.
This baby just ate an entire flatbread so it's time for the bosu ball. That vastly improves digestion, I've found, so I'm grateful for the discovery.
For the first time since our BFP, I allowed myself to browse maternity wear, just for kicks. I ended up purchasing three items that will serve for the near and long term. It felt good. It felt, well, normal. I could have been any other pregnant woman in that store, wondering about waistbands and bustlines and how horizontal stripes will look pulled taught over a bump.
So I bought that fold-over horizontal striped skirt because hey, when am I ever going to wear something that so loudly proclaims "guess what? I'm PREGNANT" if not now? It's cute. It made me smile. So I put it in the cart next to the butterscotch pudding, the Tide, the toilet paper and everything else. Then I found the softest, flowiest tee-shirts and bought two of those. They're the kind that aren't expressly maternity but will definitely be forgiving with their high-low hemline. I've been told by my cousins not to stretch out my pre-baby clothes by attempting to wear them longer than I feasibly can while pregnant. It's probably good advice so I'll lock that away in the coming weeks.
It's safe to say I've graduated from "just looking" to actually purchasing items I'll most certainly need down the line. I'm learning to be less fearful, less superstitious, and just do what moves me in the moment. We haven't bought anything specifically for the baby yet but maybe that will be the moment when this starts to feel more real. Oh, I've looked at onesies and breast pumps and all of that but only online. I even picked out our MamaRoo - green - but there's still some unspoken barrier preventing me from registering and really digging into the planning. I can't blame it on the "12 weeks" timeline entirely but I'd be lying if I said that didn't have some part in the way I feel.
If all goes well on April 8, perhaps that will open the floodgates and the shopping can begin in earnest. I really can't say for sure what my reaction will be once we get the first trimester screening results. No one likes to dwell on the possibility of positive test results - and I won't - but it's another milestone to check off that will find us that much closer to fine. I'll be glad to see it in the rear-view mirror.
This baby just ate an entire flatbread so it's time for the bosu ball. That vastly improves digestion, I've found, so I'm grateful for the discovery.
Almost there
I realize it's been two long weeks since I've written diddly on this here blog. The best laid plans more often than not fall by the wayside, as I'm learning every day at MHS.
I admit it: I'm a terrible blogger. Thank goodness I don't tweet because I'd be even worse at that. I simply lack the energy these days but I suppose that's because I have a very demanding stowaway that sucks my very life-force through its nutrient uptake tube.
I am eagerly awaiting the day when this bone-deep fatigue is a thing of the past. I can't help thinking that it will magically disappear once I'm finished student teaching. These kids! They are exhausting. I'm loving every minute that I spend in school but once I get home, I'm completely useless to Oscar and to Rhett. I feel like one of those windup dolls from Babes in Toyland that functions for exactly 10 hours a day and then runs out of steam.
Sometimes, I admit, I would rather eat peanut butter out of the jar than get off my butt and make something so when I'm alone for days at a time, it's not a pretty picture. It involves rooting around in the freezer, debating what constitutes a meal, or hoping the delicious one-pot leftovers my chef de cuisine made last until he comes home. LAZY. I am lazy. I would probably go to bed each night at 8:00 PM if I could still get up and function the next day. I also think it's contagious. Oscar sleeps from 4:30 PM until I take him out at 9:00, then he'll sleep until 5:00 AM. He's mummy's lil' champion.
Tomorrow marks my 11th week. I am fortunate to still be in all of my normal clothes, though I am resisting those stupid belly bands that expand the buttons but still keep your waist fastened. What happens when the zipper starts bursting? You'd need to wear a tunic anyway so I figure if I need to be in pants so badly, I can round up some leggings and call it a day.
Some highlights from the past two weeks:
We've finished Romeo and Juliet as well as Streetcar so now all there's left to do is debrief, review, assess, and assign the final projects. My freshmen are doing partnered scene work and my juniors are rewriting the ending to the play. It's going to be a grading frenzy through the end of the marking period and then I will collapse in a heap on April 5, sad to say goodbye to these lovies.
I admit it: I'm a terrible blogger. Thank goodness I don't tweet because I'd be even worse at that. I simply lack the energy these days but I suppose that's because I have a very demanding stowaway that sucks my very life-force through its nutrient uptake tube.
I am eagerly awaiting the day when this bone-deep fatigue is a thing of the past. I can't help thinking that it will magically disappear once I'm finished student teaching. These kids! They are exhausting. I'm loving every minute that I spend in school but once I get home, I'm completely useless to Oscar and to Rhett. I feel like one of those windup dolls from Babes in Toyland that functions for exactly 10 hours a day and then runs out of steam.
Sometimes, I admit, I would rather eat peanut butter out of the jar than get off my butt and make something so when I'm alone for days at a time, it's not a pretty picture. It involves rooting around in the freezer, debating what constitutes a meal, or hoping the delicious one-pot leftovers my chef de cuisine made last until he comes home. LAZY. I am lazy. I would probably go to bed each night at 8:00 PM if I could still get up and function the next day. I also think it's contagious. Oscar sleeps from 4:30 PM until I take him out at 9:00, then he'll sleep until 5:00 AM. He's mummy's lil' champion.
Tomorrow marks my 11th week. I am fortunate to still be in all of my normal clothes, though I am resisting those stupid belly bands that expand the buttons but still keep your waist fastened. What happens when the zipper starts bursting? You'd need to wear a tunic anyway so I figure if I need to be in pants so badly, I can round up some leggings and call it a day.
Some highlights from the past two weeks:
- March 13 was our first official OB appointment and we were there for an entire hour. David, as he likes to be called, is in practice with 3 other OBs and one midwife. He is an advocate for woman's choice in birth, meaning he's natural birth friendly, and very much a straight shooter. I appreciate the school of no-nonsense, fast-talking docs with a sense of humor. I don't need some crunchy hand-holder who won't give me hard facts and figures. I enjoy honesty and someone who tells me directly, "look, you can jump around, do Pilates, pretty much anything that still feels comfortable because if you miscarry, that won't be the reason." Refreshing. Also, about that lets-scare-pregnant-women frame of mind? He's decidedly not a subscriber.
- There are 6 labor/delivery tubs at Morristown and you can bet your boots I'll be reserving one of those rooms so I can tub it up in comfort before it's time to push. I'm already looking forward to the challenge and I do so love a warm bath. What better way to come into the world?
- The foetus, or fetus, is now the size of a date. He or she passed the first blood test with normal results and we won't see another ultrasound until April 8 when we get the first trimester screening results. At that point, I'll be 13 weeks so it may be too early to see any bits and bobs, if they exist. I've been scrutinizing the fuzzy pictures I have from Week 9 but there's only bum pointed toward the camera.
We've finished Romeo and Juliet as well as Streetcar so now all there's left to do is debrief, review, assess, and assign the final projects. My freshmen are doing partnered scene work and my juniors are rewriting the ending to the play. It's going to be a grading frenzy through the end of the marking period and then I will collapse in a heap on April 5, sad to say goodbye to these lovies.
Thursday, March 6, 2014
Dairy dearth
Among other little surprises Week 8 has brought, my least favorite discovery of all is that apparently I am once again severely lactose intolerant.
What happened?!
A week ago, I was the champion of low-fat cheese, yogurt, even - gasp! - ice cream, with no real problems. Now? Forget it. I had a yogurt parfait, the same Greek yogurt I eat pretty much every day, and I had to flee the classroom after introducing the assignment so I could, um, seek relief. Part of me blames the progesterone suppositories which are known to cause nausea and diarrhea but you'd think that would be constant and not just after eating milk products.
Oh well.
Guess I'm back on an egg or oatmeal breakfast. I take plenty of prenatal supplements so I shouldn't worry too much about getting enough calcium, plus kale and spinach are excellent sources, but this seriously stinks.
What happened?!
A week ago, I was the champion of low-fat cheese, yogurt, even - gasp! - ice cream, with no real problems. Now? Forget it. I had a yogurt parfait, the same Greek yogurt I eat pretty much every day, and I had to flee the classroom after introducing the assignment so I could, um, seek relief. Part of me blames the progesterone suppositories which are known to cause nausea and diarrhea but you'd think that would be constant and not just after eating milk products.
Oh well.
Guess I'm back on an egg or oatmeal breakfast. I take plenty of prenatal supplements so I shouldn't worry too much about getting enough calcium, plus kale and spinach are excellent sources, but this seriously stinks.
Graduation Day
Tuesday marked our final 5:50 AM trek to RMA for what is hopefully a good long while (at least until 2015.) We're graduates! We've been officially discharged and sent off with the masses to a regular OB who we will only see once a month until the third trimester. Imagine that! No weekly blood work, no, um, probes after 9 weeks, and best of all, no more shots! I am on progesterone suppositories now through Week 10 but after that, it's cold turkey. Once the placenta is fully formed, my body takes over making whatever hormones it needs from then on and I am free from all the meds, if not the side effects of said hormones.
It was good to say thank you and farewell to Dr. Hock in person. She is genuinely thrilled for us and said she talks about me all the time with the other doctors, the girl with the phantom ovary who defied the odds. It has been over 10 months of treatments with her and before that, an even longer road that stretches back to 2012. It will be difficult to suddenly have nowhere to be before the sun is up but I'm sure within a few weeks, we'll get used to logging some extra zzzz's. Certainly won't be missing the "waist down" strip or the "slight pressure" followed by a continual ooze for the remainder of the day, that's for sure.
We owe the entire RMA team, every doctor and nurse we've come into contact with, our baby's very life. Without them, we wouldn't have the Punkid growing on the vine or the 5 potential siblings waiting in cryopreservation. I can't wait for the day when, watching The Empire Strikes Back, with our young child, I can point to the scene where Han Solo gets frozen and say, "Hey! That's how you started out!"
With a final look at the baby, which is now a proper fetus, complete with a giant head and little webbed fingers and toes, we closed the exam room door and walked out into the rising sun. We said our goodbyes to the staff and to Harriet, the receptionist, who handed me my records and a pile of three magazines selling overpriced baby gear and designer maternity outfits. HA! As if real pregnant women, let alone IVF patients, will look like that in the third trimester...I read them for shits and giggles, trying to tell the difference between this breast pump and that one. The day is fast approaching when we will have to decide on which gear is best but for now, I'm enjoying my stretchy jeans.
It was good to say thank you and farewell to Dr. Hock in person. She is genuinely thrilled for us and said she talks about me all the time with the other doctors, the girl with the phantom ovary who defied the odds. It has been over 10 months of treatments with her and before that, an even longer road that stretches back to 2012. It will be difficult to suddenly have nowhere to be before the sun is up but I'm sure within a few weeks, we'll get used to logging some extra zzzz's. Certainly won't be missing the "waist down" strip or the "slight pressure" followed by a continual ooze for the remainder of the day, that's for sure.
We owe the entire RMA team, every doctor and nurse we've come into contact with, our baby's very life. Without them, we wouldn't have the Punkid growing on the vine or the 5 potential siblings waiting in cryopreservation. I can't wait for the day when, watching The Empire Strikes Back, with our young child, I can point to the scene where Han Solo gets frozen and say, "Hey! That's how you started out!"
Dr. Hock
With a final look at the baby, which is now a proper fetus, complete with a giant head and little webbed fingers and toes, we closed the exam room door and walked out into the rising sun. We said our goodbyes to the staff and to Harriet, the receptionist, who handed me my records and a pile of three magazines selling overpriced baby gear and designer maternity outfits. HA! As if real pregnant women, let alone IVF patients, will look like that in the third trimester...I read them for shits and giggles, trying to tell the difference between this breast pump and that one. The day is fast approaching when we will have to decide on which gear is best but for now, I'm enjoying my stretchy jeans.
Sunday, March 2, 2014
8 Weeks
Punkid and I are doing just fine. S/he is now the size of a kidney bean or raspberry (take your pick) and my uterus is quickly reaching abdominal cavity capacity. Apparently it is now the size
of a softball which explains why all of my skinny jeans are getting
uncomfortable. By Week 12, sometimes earlier, the intestines will be all squished together and my womb will start poking out beyond my ribs. Right now, I look and feel like I enjoyed a nice vacation noshing on bread, cheese, and wine in France (bloated, constipated, blah feeling) but maybe once there's an actual protrusion I will be able to relax and not have to keep saying in my head "I'm not pudgy, I'm pregnant." Seriously? Where is my bump. I would like something to show for this, please!
Soon enough, spring will bring the relief of leggins and tunics and I literally cannot wait to stop wearing pants for the next 7 months. Did you know that Target sells Levis that are not maternity, not plus size, but elastic waist? Amazing! They aren't geriatric, either. There's actual style to them. They're in the Juniors department and they are thick enough denim that they can't be confused with jeggings, even though technically I think they are with no pockets or zippers or buttons. I bought two pairs. They look good now and will stretch over the next month so I can continue to wear my blazers and boots without attracting attention at school. Only my CT knows and she's been very accommodating whenever I need to run to the bathroom in between classes.
There are tiny webbed fingers and toes forming this week, along with eyelids and lungs. This will be the last of the Beluga stage, as I call it, with the tail disappearing over the next week. I read somewhere that every embryo on earth begins with a tail stage so please tell me how there people who still refuse to believe in evolution? I don't get it.
I did allow myself to briefly browse some nursery gear in the million-and-one catalogs they send you once they find out you're expecting - the "they" being I don't know who, advertising clairvoyants, I guess - who latch onto my web history and the free app I downloaded to track my fetal development. It's nuts! In the space of one week I have gotten vouchers for 3D sonograms, Pottery Barn Kids, Babies R Us, Carters and others I've never even heard of. Don't get me started on the facebook ads...what a strange world we live in. There really is no privacy once you buy that first pregnancy test.
Soon enough, spring will bring the relief of leggins and tunics and I literally cannot wait to stop wearing pants for the next 7 months. Did you know that Target sells Levis that are not maternity, not plus size, but elastic waist? Amazing! They aren't geriatric, either. There's actual style to them. They're in the Juniors department and they are thick enough denim that they can't be confused with jeggings, even though technically I think they are with no pockets or zippers or buttons. I bought two pairs. They look good now and will stretch over the next month so I can continue to wear my blazers and boots without attracting attention at school. Only my CT knows and she's been very accommodating whenever I need to run to the bathroom in between classes.
There are tiny webbed fingers and toes forming this week, along with eyelids and lungs. This will be the last of the Beluga stage, as I call it, with the tail disappearing over the next week. I read somewhere that every embryo on earth begins with a tail stage so please tell me how there people who still refuse to believe in evolution? I don't get it.
I did allow myself to briefly browse some nursery gear in the million-and-one catalogs they send you once they find out you're expecting - the "they" being I don't know who, advertising clairvoyants, I guess - who latch onto my web history and the free app I downloaded to track my fetal development. It's nuts! In the space of one week I have gotten vouchers for 3D sonograms, Pottery Barn Kids, Babies R Us, Carters and others I've never even heard of. Don't get me started on the facebook ads...what a strange world we live in. There really is no privacy once you buy that first pregnancy test.
7 Weeks
I really should backdate this post to 2/25 but seeing as I'm two days into Week 8 now, I'll just update what I can and try to be better about it in the future (no guarantees until mid-April when student teaching is over). Honestly, between grad work and teaching and attempting to stay awake until at least 9:00 pm, I have the social life of a medicated shut-in.
At Tuesday's appointment, my father substituted for Rhett who was in London. It was extra special for him as it was dad's 60th birthday and he got to see and hear his future grandbaby's heartbeat. 145 bpm, measuring on target, the size of a small blueberry. Dr. Hock didn't zoom in enough to see the tail of the tadpole but that's ok. It won't look much like a baby until Week 9 and then we'll be at my new OB. Dr. Hock confirmed that we're "graduating" after the Week 8 scan which is this Tuesday. It's still very surreal. My first OB appointment isn't until March 13 and it's a brand new doctor who comes highly recommended. The office is a bit far but I figure going once every 4 weeks, I can make the trek. After all, I did elect to deliver at the hospital that's 45 minutes away instead of the one literally across the river here...I compare it to the choice of flying coach from Newark to Hong Kong or springing for the seats that fold flat into beds. This is one trip where it's worth the extras.
At Tuesday's appointment, my father substituted for Rhett who was in London. It was extra special for him as it was dad's 60th birthday and he got to see and hear his future grandbaby's heartbeat. 145 bpm, measuring on target, the size of a small blueberry. Dr. Hock didn't zoom in enough to see the tail of the tadpole but that's ok. It won't look much like a baby until Week 9 and then we'll be at my new OB. Dr. Hock confirmed that we're "graduating" after the Week 8 scan which is this Tuesday. It's still very surreal. My first OB appointment isn't until March 13 and it's a brand new doctor who comes highly recommended. The office is a bit far but I figure going once every 4 weeks, I can make the trek. After all, I did elect to deliver at the hospital that's 45 minutes away instead of the one literally across the river here...I compare it to the choice of flying coach from Newark to Hong Kong or springing for the seats that fold flat into beds. This is one trip where it's worth the extras.
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