Month 9

In another week, I'll technically be in the "4th trimester" or 10th month...which really is a crock, when you consider 9 months is plenty long to grow a baby.  I'm feeling every inch of this gestation, even if I am not yet the size of Wisconsin.  No one told me this monthly rodeo would stretch on into the the double digits.

*Bitchfest Alert* 

Remember that old running injury sustained during training for the Philly Half some 5 years ago?  Yeah, that's come back to bite me because of the added strain on my joints and ligaments.  Had to ice my damn meniscus yesterday, even though my activity is limited to walking Oscar and occasionally going up and down stairs!  The constant dueling Charlie Horses are fun, as is the vice in my cervix, not to mention the "throat snores" that leave me gasping for air and trying not to choke when I realize I'm crushing my poor, deflated lungs.  Realistically, I know that the final few weeks are uncomfortable for every pregnant women, well, ever, but never in a million years did I anticipate the endless stream of new symptoms/annoyances that pop up seemingly daily now.  I just did not think that it would be this acutely disruptive.  I'm an idiot, I guess. 

This procardia mess is like bringing on an octogenarian menopause (I'll spare you the numerous unpleasant side effects) and that's not making me a happy camper, either.  Is it better to risk crippling contractions several times a day or is it better to medicate, causing what is essentially one long, sustained contraction that turns my uterus into granite?  I'm so relieved to only be on this stuff for a week.  I have no qualms about stopping it and letting nature take its course, as directed by my doctor.  After 36 weeks the medication is no longer effective at preventing contractions and to that I say, fine.  Bring it on.

*End Bitchfest...for now*  I feel better already just letting it all out.

I suppose I'm particularly antsy ahead of tomorrow's MFM scan, not because of the baby but for my own peace of mind.  We're checking on the placenta and the cervix and whatever information that turns up is what we go with.  If there's one thing I can't stand it's not having a clear plan.  There are so many dang variables flying around that I have had to make do with having absolutely no control over anything at this point and that's not sitting well with me.  I think I have PTSD in this regard from the events of the past year-and-a-half and the IVF experience.  I never thought I'd be possibly two weeks out from delivery and not have a validated plan of action so depending on what we hear tomorrow, I'm really going to push for some specifics on Friday.  I've been patient.  I've not harassed my OB with minutia but now it's so close to Go Time that I really need more than a bunch of potential scenarios.  Though I don't subscribe to the Special Snowflake outlook on life, I realize this is not your typical pregnancy, nor is it your typical birth.  I actually am a unique case.  Go figure.

We have a "birth goals" sheet.  It's not one of those obnoxiously detailed Birth Plans that must be followed as closely as the Ten Commandments but it's an idea of what we're hoping can happen, should the situation warrant our requests.  I trust the medical professionals to provide the best care but I so want to watch the entire surgery.  If they can't lower the sheet, I hope I can get a mirror so I can view the procedure from first cut to last stitch.  When on earth am I going to get to witness my own surgery again?  That's my Number One item on the wish list. 

Whatever tomorrow brings, it will be more information than we currently have.  All this hurry-up-and-wait business is exhausting but my only job for the next few weeks is to remain calm, grow this baby as healthy as she can be, and try not to get upset about things I can't change.  Easier said than done when the new sleep schedule is basically 8:00-10:00 AM and 1:00-3:00 PM but at least classes are over, the bags are packed, the gear is ready to go, and now we wait as patiently as we can - which in my case, is not very.