Sunday was our first hospital-sponsored childbirth class up at Morristown Medical Center.
There are 9 other couples in our two part class, ranging from our age (mid-late 20's) into their 40's. The common thread is that it's a first baby for all of us. Because honestly, why would you subject yourself to a 2 day, 5 hour course if you've been through this before?
I've had the time to read extensively so I can't say I was surprised by any of the biological aspects of the class. I treated it like a test review. It was clear that many of the men in that room were riveted by the things happening to our bodies that they hadn't really thought about before. Their reactions kept me amused. The nurse running it was quite good in a grandmotherly, no-nonsense way. Basically, her main takeaway was "labor is intense" and "every woman is different." I felt for some of those moms in the room who looked as though she'd punted a baby goat off a cliff. I guess it's just not that scary to me because hospitals and I are now intimately acquainted.
Nurse Diane took us on a tour of the maternity ward. That was my main motivation for signing up for this class: the extended look at the facilities offered to all new parents. I wanted to be able to visualize a delivery room, the nursery, the postpartum accommodations, and most importantly, the jacuzzi, just in case. We did not get to see an OR but then again, I've been in my share so I'm sure it's pretty much the same. I'm holding out hope for a tub room but there are only 3 on the entire ward so it's first come, first serve. I will be calling them from 287 telling them to boot whoever is in there because I'm on my way!
I was surprised that the delivery rooms were tiny and dark with no windows. I hadn't really visualized giving birth in a cave. Personally, I'd love to be distracted by looking out a window but no such luck. Maybe they want you to focus and get it over with as quickly as possible so they minimize distractions. If you are lucky enough to score a tub room, they are about three times the size of the regular rooms (of which there are 18 total.) The postpartum rooms are all very clean with lots of light and a pullout couch for the partner. Morristown keeps you 2 nights minimum for vaginal birth and 3 for a c-section. That seems excessive but I'm sure they have it down to a system. There were only 2 new babies on the whole ward while we were touring. Memorial Day must not be a popular weekend to give birth. One mother had what seemed like her entire family there (no, thank you) and they brought her Dunkin' Doughnuts and crowded her room. Me? If PB falls asleep, I'd be sleeping, too.
The tour was helpful. Class could have used more mediation time (aka Nap Time!) because those chairs were damn uncomfortable. Once we got on the floor with our blankets for the last hour, I was happy. The early 90's birth clips they kept showing were pretty hilarious in that they'd freeze-frame on the most unflattering facial expressions imaginable. Those poor women! Shockingly, there was no nudity. I guess you have to watch "The Business of Being Born" for that. (You'll see lots of engorged breasts if you do, trust me.)
We learned the four acceptable positions of active labor and now I can't wait to cat/cow the heck out of Transition. Bring it on, I say. Next week we'll learn about C-sections and postpartum stuff so that should probably be a bit more helpful. All in all, I'm glad we're doing this now as a frame of reference. It reiterates how helpful yoga is for preparing the mind and body and that Jillian Michaels will continue to be my friend for my isometric strengthening. Who says you have to wet yourself each time you sneeze?
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