Baby goes to birth class

We're back from our Outer Banks extravaganza (read: Duck Doughnuts, all the seafood you can stuff in your face, ice cream, mini golf, long walks on the beach which by no means burn the vast calories consumed but hey, who's counting?) and real life resumes.  Vacationing with three small children was certainly a change of pace but it managed to be fun and mostly relaxing.  That drive is terrible, though.  It's like driving to Ohio but with worse scenery! 

Sunday was our first hospital-sponsored childbirth class up at Morristown Medical Center. 

There are 9 other couples in our two part class, ranging from our age (mid-late 20's) into their 40's.  The common thread is that it's a first baby for all of us.  Because honestly, why would you subject yourself to a 2 day, 5 hour course if you've been through this before? 

I've had the time to read extensively so I can't say I was surprised by any of the biological aspects of the class.  I treated it like a test review.  It was clear that many of the men in that room were riveted by the things happening to our bodies that they hadn't really thought about before.  Their reactions kept me amused.  The nurse running it was quite good in a grandmotherly, no-nonsense way.  Basically, her main takeaway was "labor is intense" and "every woman is different."  I felt for some of those moms in the room who looked as though she'd punted a baby goat off a cliff.  I guess it's just not that scary to me because hospitals and I are now intimately acquainted. 

Nurse Diane took us on a tour of the maternity ward.  That was my main motivation for signing up for this class: the extended look at the facilities offered to all new parents.  I wanted to be able to visualize a delivery room, the nursery, the postpartum accommodations, and most importantly, the jacuzzi, just in case.  We did not get to see an OR but then again, I've been in my share so I'm sure it's pretty much the same.  I'm holding out hope for a tub room but there are only 3 on the entire ward so it's first come, first serve.  I will be calling them from 287 telling them to boot whoever is in there because I'm on my way! 

I was surprised that the delivery rooms were tiny and dark with no windows.  I hadn't really visualized giving birth in a cave.  Personally, I'd love to be distracted by looking out a window but no such luck.  Maybe they want you to focus and get it over with as quickly as possible so they minimize distractions.  If you are lucky enough to score a tub room, they are about three times the size of the regular rooms (of which there are 18 total.)  The postpartum rooms are all very clean with lots of light and a pullout couch for the partner.  Morristown keeps you 2 nights minimum for vaginal birth and 3 for a c-section.  That seems excessive but I'm sure they have it down to a system.  There were only 2 new babies on the whole ward while we were touring.  Memorial Day must not be a popular weekend to give birth.  One mother had what seemed like her entire family there (no, thank you) and they brought her Dunkin' Doughnuts and crowded her room.  Me?  If PB falls asleep, I'd be sleeping, too.

The tour was helpful.  Class could have used more mediation time (aka Nap Time!) because those chairs were damn uncomfortable.  Once we got on the floor with our blankets for the last hour, I was happy.  The early 90's birth clips they kept showing were pretty hilarious in that they'd freeze-frame on the most unflattering facial expressions imaginable.  Those poor women!  Shockingly, there was no nudity.  I guess you have to watch "The Business of Being Born" for that.  (You'll see lots of engorged breasts if you do, trust me.) 

We learned the four acceptable positions of active labor and now I can't wait to cat/cow the heck out of Transition.  Bring it on, I say.  Next week we'll learn about C-sections and postpartum stuff so that should probably be a bit more helpful.  All in all, I'm glad we're doing this now as a frame of reference.  It reiterates how helpful yoga is for preparing the mind and body and that Jillian Michaels will continue to be my friend for my isometric strengthening.  Who says you have to wet yourself each time you sneeze?






 

And though she be but little...

She is fierce.

We are officially having a daughter!

PB had her first photo shoot yesterday during the anatomy scan and you can clearly see her lady bits and that sweet profile as she's reposed over my placenta.  (Yes, it's still totally covering the cervix but not much we can do about that.) 

It took long enough for PB to warm up to us and move her hands off of her genitals.  We had to wait 15 minutes to finally sneak a peek at her pelvis.  She's certainly a modest one and oh, so flexible.  She spent most of the scan with her legs up over her head and her hands shot through the opening between them.  All that yoga is really rubbing off on her.  She's still in transverse breech position which probably has a lot to do with the placenta placement but it isn't affecting her nutrition or growth.

The tech looked at literally every minutia possible: we saw the kidneys, the four chambers of the heart, the cerebellum, the umbilical cord, the abdomen, the fingers and toes, and briefly, her lips.  She was "hiding under my scar" for a good portion of the scan.  Turns out my hunch about the lack of a true bump absolutely has to do with the position of my scars but in another few weeks, that should change.  Ultrasounds can't accurately read through scar tissue - my uterus happens to be right under my laparotomy scar at the moment -so whenever PB would scoot down to the scar line, we lost clarity in the image of her head and face.  As baby and uterus grow and begin to expand out of the pelvis, we'll have an easier time seeing facial details and by then I should be ready for fundal measurements.

The important thing is that PB is measuring on target and we are halfway through this pregnancy!  We met with the third and final doctor - a very motherly Indian woman - who did warn me that unless my placenta moves by our 30 week scan in July, the official call of placenta previa will be made and we'll begin to talk C-section dates.  Ah, the best laid plans...but really, that's the least of my worries.  I am in great health and so is the baby.  Do I look forward to yet another major abdominal surgery?  Not so much but hey, C-section babies don't get cone-heads at birth!

I love that our baby girl is so active and has so much personality already.  Watching her for an extended period of time was such a gift.  She was throwing punches around each time the tech would try to turn her for a new angle.  She looked like a little Jedi street fighter, grooving to a disco beat.  Her femurs are apparently measuring quite large but the tech looked at us and said, "well, neither of you are short people."  She's going to be a giantess - not a shocker.  I was a hearty newborn and we all know Rhett's story so at least we don't have to be afraid of handling some delicate little flower.  I'm telling you, it's all that calcium being put to good use!  

 

Wham!

Well, PB's a little late for the Mother's Day celebration but I felt my first actual kick today.  Future Rockette or Black Belt?  I wouldn't be surprised by either.  I'm not even 20 weeks and "wham!" - oh, hey in there.  Yes, I feel you. 

Some background:
I had been up since 2:45, unable to truly fall back asleep, then I was off to the dentist at 8:00 AM.  After a three-hour car appointment before our upcoming vacation to replace the brakes and rotors (talk about timing!), I finally got home at 1:00 PM.  I was exhausted.  Why?  No idea.  Sitting on my butt in Starbucks, drinking Oprah chai's really took it out of me, I guess.  I told Oscar I was just going to lie down for 20 minutes and that I'd take him to the park after.  Just kidding.  I woke up to the little kick at 3:15 PM.  Whoops.  Sorry, kid.  I slept through your lunch.  PB was not a happy camper.  Immediate bagel action required. 

Really, this relationship is a lot like Seymour and Audrey II (the plant from "Little Shop of Horrors.")  FEEEEED ME, SEYMOUR!  Constantly.

After semi-listening to a positively charming childbirth class sent to me via email by my hospital group ["these are forceps which may be used to guide the baby's head out of the birth canal"], I feel the need to stuff my face again.   Excuse me.  "Twoey" is calling. 

Check that off the list

Moving was a breeze.  The crew was in and out in 2.5 hours and the 10x10 storage unit was exactly the right size.

We managed to empty out the entire guestroom as well as 35 plastic bins and assorted boxes, including half of the contents of our garage into this space.  I am pleased.  The new project has two stages.  First phase: organize the remaining items in the garage and create a space for large baby items that may stay in boxes for a while. 

Phase two is the fun part: begin planning the nursery.  Essentials such as the crib and dresser have been ordered but we're limited in terms of piecing it together until after the hardwood floors are installed, which of course backs up on the bathroom renovation.  I cannot wait to see this bathroom.  I'm way too excited for this facelift but I think that's because it's my first HGTV-worthy project and wouldn't it be nice if the Property Bros. showed up and offered to do our master, too?  ha!

The next stages are going to happen in quick succession so planning is key.  I feel like I have a handle on everything now that I can visualize room to breathe! Here's a sneak peek at PB's nursery, sans assembled furniture, as well as a paint test. 

No one could accuse us of being afraid of color, that's for sure!  It's called "orange slice" and it's just this side of Nickelodeon but I love it.  Supposedly orange increases appetite but with an infant, that's a plus.  The more milk, the merrier. 

May Day and we're on our way

Yesterday, we made an unplanned visit to the OB.  I had been having some intense cramping and fresh spotting which are all red flags, given the placenta placement, so to be safe I called in my symptoms.  I have learned that it's better to have peace of mind than worry for days not knowing if everything is going to be okay.  That doesn't make me paranoid or nervous but my reality of IVF and ensuing complications has taught me to advocate for when I just know something feels "off." 

The receptionist got me in right away with Dr. Convery (who is quickly becoming our favored delivery choice) and I had a full exam and quick ultrasound.  Sure enough, there was a ton of old blood inside that was visible to the naked eye.  This could be the same SCH irritation from January that keeps reopening as the uterus stretches.  The next two weeks are a particularly big growth spurt for the baby and for my uterus so that could explain why I had such menstrual-like cramps as the placenta, which is still covering the cervix, has to stretch and grow. 

There was a very pale spot on the u/ss - which indicates a fresh bleed - but it was small and Dr. Convery said all of the uterine stretching could have irritated it but that it should resolve on its own.  The baby is doing just fine, the fluid looks good and my cervix is closed, so all is well.  PB was sitting in breech lotus position, directly over my cervix.  We got a little wave but that was it.  No showoff somersaults this time.  PB wanted to meditate undisturbed.  I'm still on pelvic rest (and realistically, probably will be for the remainder of this pregnancy.)  Yoga is fine - the baby is already learning Savasana! - but no high-impact sports or classes.  I have figured out that when I start to feel cramps, I lie on the bed and put my feet up and in a few hours, I feel completely better.  It's the learning to listen to my body and slow down that has actually gotten easier with my guided meditations from class.  I also bought some hippy birthing book about being mindful but whenever I read it in the tub, I start to nod off.  Maybe that's the point? 

We scheduled our anatomy scan and have to call for the Fetal EKG for late June.  This next scan is the halfway point for this pregnancy!   Babies born after 36 weeks are considered full-term.  It's a little strange to think that after this appointment, we probably won't have another ultrasound till 28 weeks.  That's the longest stretch yet without visuals but at least in the later second and third trimesters, you have a rapidly expanding belly and can feel some forceful fetal movements.  

Speaking of bellies and movements, although I've been feeling PB flutter about since around 12 weeks, it's gotten stronger and more frequent.  I even felt a distinct tapping today when I was working on some assignments for school.  It feels like a little pulse right above my scar.  There is certainly a small but more permanent protrusion at my bikini line (finally) so that's something.  17 weeks, kid.  It's about time!  I can proudly say that in the shower, I finally look pregnant.

It's going to be a busy May but Foetus is brewing strong and we can't wait to clear out the nursery and celebrate with a little Outer Banks beach break. 

a very simple solution

It went on like a light bulb in my brain the minute she said it: "Why don't you just get a small storage unit so you can stop stressing?"  Gee, thanks, Ma! 

Truthfully, Rhett and I had talked about this a few weeks back but it felt silly for two people to have accumulated so much stuff that additional off-site square footage was required to keep it.  But it's a necessity if we want to be able to store things we acquire for PB that won't be used everyday/right away. 

We're completely maxed out at the moment.  This townhouse has been great for two young people just starting out but adding a third person, not to mention a dog who thinks he's a real boy, means we're bursting at the seams.  We have no basement, no useable garage because it's our substitute basement, and we've crammed as much as we possibly can into our meager closets so it's time to outsource this problem and get on with life.  I don't like feeling as though my hands are tied and coming to the realization that we have other options has helped my mood tremendously. 

I feel much better about the situation now that I've inquired into movers and local storage facilities.  It doesn't seem quite as overwhelming, now that we don't have to conjure space out of midair.  (Two nights of heartburn-induced wakefulness really didn't help the situation.)  For a simple solution, it took me a while to see it.  I've been wrapped up in coursework, planning out the summer of home improvement tasks and scheduling baby-related appointments/classes, as well as realizing that "summer" is going to be over so quickly, we won't know what hit us!  I am so very thankful that student teaching is over and after my current courses are done in June, I only have two more courses this summer before taking a medical leave in September that will last until sweet, sweet January. 

Now that I've safely packed high school away for the time being, there is a bit of a void.  I miss those kids.  I miss the daily expectations of showing up at the school and being prepared, the total, consuming work of teaching a roomful of teenagers with so much energy and so many feelings that sometimes you wonder how they function.  It was three months that I spent with them and now their lives go on, as does mine.  I miss Chris.  She was a fantastic CT.  I miss having something to focus all my mental and physical faculties on; something that was rewarding and challenging and something I was confident would turn out well.  I know I'm a good teacher.  What I am not so sure about is if I am a "happy pregnant lady."  I should be.  Gosh, we have every reason in the world to be over the moon that our first FET was a success. 

Now that I have more time to focus on being pregnant, it's almost alarming all over again to realize, oh yeah, we're actually having a baby.  Much of the burden has been my extreme guilt over my emotional reticence to get too attached to my son/daughter.  I want to be absolutely in love with this child before I give birth and I know deep down I am, though I try my best to lock those feelings away in my fortress of solitude.  It's scary to be faced with the constant unknown.  I am excited, in my own way, but I'm so very hesitant to celebrate for fear that something unpredicted could turn up and ruin everything we've worked so hard to achieve.  I don't know how IVF couples do this repeatedly.

It's one thing to have the photo of the tiny face and spine from 13.5 weeks but we go so long between appointments that it's easy to forget there's a live human being inside of me, doubly so since there's as yet no external evidence.  And if I'm being truly honest, I'm still holding my breath for the 20 week anatomy scan.  Yes, our chromosomal test results were normal but I want the heart to be strong and healthy and all physiology to be intact. 

In short, I just want to be a mother and I want Rhett to be a father.  Period.  It's so easy to get caught up in the gear and the process and what you think it will be like or comparing yourself (ill-advisedly) to other friends/family members.  But it's not about any of that.  It's about bringing someone who you've wanted desperately to meet, to life, and loving them more than you ever thought possible.   

MEGO

MEGO = "my eyes glaze over"

This handy little acronym was first introduced by a ruthless journalism professor and it's stuck with me ever since.  I can't help but get a total case of the MEGO whenever I start looking at baby registry items online or in stores.  Yes, shopping for miniature clothing and squishy, brightly colored toys is supposed to make your ovaries throb with longing but honestly?  It gives me a migraine.  So many choices!  So many things that look exactly the same!  Which brand is safest?  Which one isn't made in China?

It's compounded by the fact that in-person, you're bombarded with rows of the same product in 42 different colors but it's still just plastic and fabric.  There are seriously three shades of "red" for one brand of infant carrier and they all look the same to me.  You would think the fabric designers might try to make the merchandize visually appealing, as well as structurally sound but that seems to be an afterthought for many of the leading brands.  Bet you can't guess how many shades of taupe and putty are used for bouncers/baby swings!

Rhett and I laugh hysterically whenever we try to fold and unfold some of those damn strollers.  We feel like baby boneheads and immediately chose the smallest, most compact infant system out there because neither one of us wants to be "those people" lugging the monstrosity of a stroller around.   Don't get me started on the search for the perfect daddy diaper bag...ha!  That was a comedy of errors.  ("This looks like a purse."  "This still looks like a giant purse."  "I'm not wearing anything over my shoulder.")  Eventually, it was Eddie Bauer to the rescue.  Mine absolutely looks like a teacher bag so huzzah for multipurpose.   

I have a vision in my mind of what I want in terms of furnishings.  We're on the same page with aesthetics (gender neutral oranges, greens, grays and modern lines) but it's shocking to me how easy it is to get swept up in the "it's our first baby!" Mr. Moneybags mentality.  It's even tougher because of what we went through to get to this point so I have a frequent reality check with myself when it comes to what I think is "reasonable" to spend.   The bottom line is it's a 12x11 room and there's only so much you can cram in there. 

Why does my dream crib cost as much as our new carpeting?!  I really couldn't say.  They're all the same when you strip it down: wood, non-toxic paint, bolts, adjustable levels of baby height.  A crib is not going to be used forever.   So no, this nursery is not going to be a designer baby boudoir and that's ok.  PB will be safe and comfortable and probably overstimulated by the choice of paint hue but what matters is the thought and planning, not the price tag or the brand status.

We have learned some valuable lessons in our browsing: Anything Scandinavian is going to be outrageously expensive and sometimes even downright fugs.  It's a fact.  Anything and everything, it seems, can be labeled "organic" but what does that even mean?  A mattress made from coconut fiber is superior because...why, exactly? And yes, I did spring for the Baby Bjorn cradle but that's because it has the lowest SIDS rating and you can see through the mesh sides.  It's honestly not that attractive but it's also not a hideous beige like so many alternatives.  The size and safety features are the selling point.  I didn't want some giant, hulking bassinet taking up the entire floor space on my side of the bed.  And that brings us to another issue: space. 

Where will all of this baby swag go? 

There's a creeping anxiety I start to feel whenever I'm momentarily satisfied by my informed shopping and that is "where on earth are we going to fit all this stuff?"  Forget the cost of raising a child - how about the square footage required for having even just ONE?