I had been writing a journal of sorts in a Word doc for the past couple of weeks so in order to bring everyone up to speed, here is where things stand from a historical perspective (I'm much calmer now - ha!):
October 22, 2013
This isn't news to any woman who has gone through multiple IVF
cycles: waiting SUCKS. I had my check-in with my RE yesterday following
my September 30 robotic salpingectomy/oophorectomy and hysteroscopy.
Got the green light from my surgeon last week to go forth and get
pregnant so I had convinced myself that my RE would take one look at my
now squeaky-clean insides and be like, "let's do this!"
Wrong. I just get so @*#&ing frustrated that I've wasted a month healing and am now going to be sitting around for another 3-4 weeks until I get my period and get back on BCP for 10-14 days. It seems interminable! I have Stage IV Endo - apparently some freakish kind that multiplies seemingly overnight - and I have yet to complete a cycle after starting IVF in July. I'm getting super anxious that by the time we do get started again, all the good the surgery has done will be wiped out because my natural hormones are that powerful. Also, on the sonogram she made a big gd deal out of two tiny dots she found in my uterus and was all, "let's see if these disappear with your next period and if they don't, we're doing a saline sono again." HELL to the no! That is even more time waiting and more trauma on my poor body. I did not react well the last time and got a fever and cramps for days after. Hello, infection anyone?
This sounds all very whiny and boo-hoo-poor-me, I know, but when is it my turn? When do I actually get to make it to retrieval and at least try? I can't stand not knowing if my eggs will grow, if we'll have viable embryos, if other issues will present themselves...I just want some answers and not another month to sit around and angst over things I can't change.
So...back to acupuncture on Thursday. I'm giving myself the best possible chance with Co-Q10, weekly acu sessions, cutting out coffee and alcohol, staying on my strict GF, DF diet and trying (unsuccessfully) to stay away from Halloween candy...ha! Yeah, right.
Wrong. I just get so @*#&ing frustrated that I've wasted a month healing and am now going to be sitting around for another 3-4 weeks until I get my period and get back on BCP for 10-14 days. It seems interminable! I have Stage IV Endo - apparently some freakish kind that multiplies seemingly overnight - and I have yet to complete a cycle after starting IVF in July. I'm getting super anxious that by the time we do get started again, all the good the surgery has done will be wiped out because my natural hormones are that powerful. Also, on the sonogram she made a big gd deal out of two tiny dots she found in my uterus and was all, "let's see if these disappear with your next period and if they don't, we're doing a saline sono again." HELL to the no! That is even more time waiting and more trauma on my poor body. I did not react well the last time and got a fever and cramps for days after. Hello, infection anyone?
This sounds all very whiny and boo-hoo-poor-me, I know, but when is it my turn? When do I actually get to make it to retrieval and at least try? I can't stand not knowing if my eggs will grow, if we'll have viable embryos, if other issues will present themselves...I just want some answers and not another month to sit around and angst over things I can't change.
So...back to acupuncture on Thursday. I'm giving myself the best possible chance with Co-Q10, weekly acu sessions, cutting out coffee and alcohol, staying on my strict GF, DF diet and trying (unsuccessfully) to stay away from Halloween candy...ha! Yeah, right.
November 1, 2013
Things are beginning to look up so there's no need to flip out about any more invasive tests and bullshitting around (for the moment.) I am happy to report that my Halloween scan and blood work looks great. I have a thin, bump-free lining and 4 healthy 10 mm follies ready to grow, grow, grow. My RE thinks we stand a real chance of having at least one blastocyst transferred -- hopefully successfully so! I feel like I could dance for joy that things have not fallen apart yet but perhaps I shouldn't count my chickens...or eggs? ha!
This will be our 3rd IVF cycle and the first - fingers crossed - that we actually complete so there's a lot of holiday wishing going into this one. Maybe this time we'll get lucky and I can stop tying my stomach in knots whenever I think of another Christmas or NYE without being pregnant. Maybe we'll grow out very own turkey baby this Thanksgiving, which is probably when we'd be having our transfer. LOL.
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