Tuesday morning and it finally feels like November again, thankfully. We decked our halls this weekend and it hit 62 degrees yesterday. Not ok, weather. That's a recipe for S.A.D. which I am now convinced I have because I want to crawl into bed at 8:30 every night (and mostly do, which is even lamer.) I'm still blaming the stims for my fatigue disorder and from what I've read, it doesn't really go away after even transfer...joy to the world. It's the kind of bone tired that you can't even sleep off, try as you might. I am now getting the constant migraine, the blurred vision when staring at a screen too long, the nausea, the weird dizziness that only comes when I'm horizontal, and did I mention the peeing five times before falling asleep? I have the bladder of an octogenarian now. Huzzah!
All of this is - say it with me now - normal. I get it and I'll take it (grudgingly.) It's been a real challenge not being able to do the things I'm accustom to doing during the day like, oh, exercising, having the attention span to focus on school work, etc. It's temporary, I know, but not as temporary as you'd think. When all is said and done, it will be over a month of this weird hormonal limbo followed by what is hopefully a healthy pregnancy and then it will all be worth it. It's the uncertainty that eats away at you, even when things are going well. I have to stop and tell myself, "the whole point is to have a baby and it may not feel like you're doing jack squat at the moment, other than feeling out of your skin, but there's no way to know if it's going to work before giving it an honest go." Well, this is our honest go. Were close. So close. I just want to get there. We may trigger tomorrow or Thursday and I just want to hear someone tell me "everything looks great and you're ready."
We had another RE visit, this time with Dr. Shastri. Honestly? The woman is stunning. I may have a little doctor crush on her. That sounds really bizarre, I know, but whereas Dr. Hock is a pragmatic Beverly Crusher type (yes, Rhett, we're talking Star Trek: The Next Generation), Dr. Shastri is the Counselor Deanna Troi of the Starship Enterprise. Not nerd enough for that reference? That's ok. Google it and you'll get it.
Know what I'm not looking forward to? Tomorrow with "Mel Brooks" Bohrer. He's nice enough in an elfin grandfatherly way but dude, how do you miss an abscess after routinely mentioning my hydrosalpinx during u/s? Where there's smoke, there's usually fire! Not cool. He'll probably tell me my miraculous phantom planet is "just a cyst" but whatever. I only have to deal with him for one day. This is the downside of communal monitoring. I may not see Dr. Hock again until after retrieval and I miss her perky encouragement. There's something to be said for having low expectations and being totally blown away by a better-than-hoped-for outcome.
More later when I have my stats back...
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